Do you remember the famous words “I have a dream, that one day my whining will reach everybody and I will become the center of attention!” Alright, I admit, it is partly edited, but its a perfect example of a chronic complainer’s inner thoughts.
What happened last time?
In my first blog entry you were able to read about chronic complainers in general, how to spot them and how to test if you are one. This entry will discuss modern complainers who developed through the changes associated with the 21st century.
What technology has to do with complaining
High technology has entered our lives and has enormously influenced the way we deal with each other and ourselves. New psychological disorders like the FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) have risen and have led to people having the right to complain whenever they cannot get any information they need immediately. I am sure you are familiar with the phrase “the internet is not working”.
In the past people could not target all their friends at once when complaining and especially not with only one click. They would have needed to meet up in person and that limits the opportunities for chronic complainers. Nowadays everyone with a social media account can let the world know about their horribly miserable life.
Though technology has other characteristics that might have caused our increased tendency of complaining. The internet lets us live an incredibly comfortable life in which we are able to solve our problems from sitting at home in front of our desktops and only go to the bathroom if we really cannot hold it in anymore. If something cannot be dealt with online, we complain. We complain about having to have personal interaction. Also, we are used to speed for the before mentioned reason. Since everything can be managed from the internet people expect you to have time to work and spend little time sorting out your personal life, because that can be done in just two clicks on the internet. We have the fear of being replaced by machines in case we do not accomplish enough. All of this comes down to the feeling of pressure which leads to stress and complaining. So is our complaining legit?
Finally a platform where you can share all of your complaints!
Social media is probably the best thing that has happened to chronic complainers since the invention of the telephone. Now, they do not have to call everyone they know separately, and tell them the same negative story over and over again, but they can reach all of their friends and acquaintances by just posting a complaint. Well isn’t social media just great. Although it is called social media, it does not seem so “social”, does it? People act “social” online by posting a lot because they can put a mask on, create a desired identity and be a different person every day. Moreover, they can be whoever they want to be, which might be the exact opposite of their true selves. But they are safe, no one can personally confront them the same embarrasing way people could in real life. In the eyes of a chronic complainer that is a great advantage, because they can freely complain without being interrupted.
My advice is that if you have come to see that you are a chronic complainer, please do not bother to post any complaints on social media anymore. Here is why:
1. Your friends might give you attention the first few times you publish a complaint, but will react less empathic if you start doing it more than once a month.
2. No one will take you serious if there is permanently something bad happening to you. Consequently you will not become the center of attention, but you will be ignored.
3. If you are not doing anything else than complaining on the internet, you will be pitied for not having better things to do and being overly insecure to have the need to spread your negativity. Your friends are not stupid.
4. People will start making fun of you without you even knowing it.
So do yourself a favor and stop complaining!
Thanks to modern technology we are more connected than ever before. There is a bad side to it though. We have access to people’s lives who are fully strange to us, so we start comparing ourselves to more people. Especially people who have more money and show off their wealth through the internet. Clearly, we start to feel more insecure and create problems that are not even there. We believe to see people, who have no problems in life, because they can solve everything with money and money buys happiness, beauty, success and popularity – so they think, at least. Relatively to the super rich we might have more obstacles and so we start complaining. A great article by Mike Savage also states that over the past year the very wealthy have been in the spotlight as never before. It is also typical in a lot of countries that richer get richer and the poorer get poorer and there is a big gap in between. The media also covers much more about the rich then the middle class or lower class, therefore we tend to compare ourselves to them instead of cherishing what we have.
Last time I have asked you to do the test during which you are not allowed to complain for three days. Did you manage to do so? It is a way for consciously improving yourself to reduce your own whining. If you have a friend who complains a lot suggest him/her to try the test because you thought it was interesting. More tips on how to act around a chronic complainer will follow in my next entries.
Do you have friends who constantly whine online? What annoys you most when you read their whining? Comment in the section below!